Four Lessons in Learning to the Homeschooling Parent of a Special Needs Child. 1. Focus on your child’s strengths and interests. As parents of children with Special Needs or Learning Disabilities, we hear a lot about what our children can’t do. Although it is important that we are aware of their difficulties, it is essential that we not dwell in the “problem.” Children with Special Needs are not the problem: the problem is that traditional education is not flexible enough to embrace the strengths of these children to allow them to flourish. With homeschooling you have the luxury of customizing your child’s curriculum to their exact needs and interests. If your child loves learning about Space and is obsessed with NASA, center their subjects around that topic. Reading, Math, Spelling, Writing, and History can all revolve around the topic of Space and not just Science. If you have a child with a learning challenge that makes it difficult to read; use videos, games, documentaries, audiobooks, and field trips to bring subjects to life. You do not have to recreate the traditional school structure at home. Leave that behind, think out of the box… because I would bet, that’s what your child is doing! 2. Show your child’s progress, not their progress compared to other children. School is set up to judge children’s progress based on their grade and how they compare to each other. Homeschooling is all about your child and their progress, alone. When setting academic goals, try to erase what you know of traditional school. Really focus on your child and the goals that are meaningful to your family. Each skill can be treated as a discreate object. For example: your child may be an avid reader and fly through a novel in one day, but at the same time can struggle with the most basic math skills. Progress in reading could be to take basic technical reading to the next level and focus on comprehending complex themes and expressing original ideas based on the material. For Math it may be a real accomplishment to learn how to use a calculator as a useful tool instead of drilling memorization. Or for your child: progress might be getting through one afternoon without an outburst or setting a record by sitting for 20 minutes at the table for school. The most important thing to remember is your child should only be compared to themselves, NOT others. 3. Give your child the tools they will need to be successful. If they can’t hold math facts, don’t keep hitting them over the head with flashcards: hand them a calculator. Parents worry how their children with special needs will function well in the world as adults. We as adults function better every day with the use of computers. Make that tool your child’s friend by teaching them how to use it most effectively. If they experience anxiety or stress in social situations, safe online communities might be a great way for them to make friends remotely. Give your child the gift of life skills. Instead of stressing academic facts, engage your child with real-life activities that will help prepare them for their future. Think about starting a local Facebook group to attract other homeschoolers that would like to participate in some fun life skills meet-ups. Get a group of kids together to plan a meal. Give them a budget and have them make shopping lists. Taking a group of kids to the grocery store and then making a meal together can be a great learning experience and a wonderful opportunity to make new friends. 4. When in conflict, choose the relationship over academic gains. Trust is the key! Reach out to your child by entering their world. I had a client whose son was Autistic and struggling with sensory over-load from a recent school experience. During his de-schooling phase, he retreated to a large refrigerator box where he had created a small, safe world for himself. I suggested his mom get into his box with him and just hang out. The results were amazing. He made a special comfy space for her to snuggle with him in his box. They spent time in it together chatting and laughing. Soon he was telling her stories from his time at school and sharing some hurts he had experienced. After that, he trusted her enough to enter her world a bit. A safe learning space she was creating just for him. He learned that his mom was a kind and patient teacher who would listen to his needs and bring lessons to him in a way that worked just for him. I can’t say enough about the value of the relationship between parent and homeschooling child. It’s the difference between constant arguments and successful, joyful learning. At the end of a long homeschooling day the true accomplishment is the love between you and your child. Blossom Learning -coaching for the homeschooling parent and child. If you'd like to explore ideas for creative lessons designed just for your child and their interests, come visit me at www.blossomlearning.weebly.com.
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